The Jake Files

FAQ

Q:  What does the Amazing Jake blog about?

A:  National and local politics, the war on terror, entertainment and pop culture, family, and whatever else amuses me.  Oh, and any time the ungrateful French make the news by grandstanding their disagreements with the country that ensured they wouldn’t be speaking German today, you can be sure I’ll have something to say about that.

Q:  OK, so we get that you don’t like the French.  What gives?

A:  The reasons to despise the French are legion.  My personal distaste for them began in 1986, when the cheese eating surrender monkeys refused access to their airspace, which forced our F-111s to fly from the UK all the way around Europe on their way to blow stuff up in Tripoli and show Gadaffi the error of his terrorist ways.  Then there’s the superior arrogance they routinely display at the UN and any other international stage they may be on.  I also find it amusing that they surrender any time they’re given a chance.

Q:  What do you do for a living?

A:  The Amazing Jake is currently a sales manager for a Fortune 500 company, and has previously managed customer contact departments in banking call centers.  The Amazing Jake enjoys comics like “Dilbert” and TV shows like “The Office” because they’re remarkably true to life.

Q:  Where are you coming from, politically speaking?

A:  I consider myself part of the vast right wing conspiracy.  I believe that the first role of government is to provide for the common defense, not to provide entitlement benefits.  I believe that life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness does not include the government taking your property to build a mall or other tax-generating entity.  I am pro-life and pro-death penalty, and see absolutely no contradiction between the two.  A fetus is an innocent life, and a convicted criminal has been judged guilty of his crimes by a jury of his peers.  I am pro-Second Amendment, though I own no firearms.  I stand in awe that our military men and women voluntarily put themselves in harm’s way to protect our lives, our way of life, and the rights of those who disagree with our nation’s policies to disagree vigorously.  I believe the agressive enforcement of our borders is essential to national defense, orderly and lawful immigration, and reduction of crime.  I believe that tax cuts at the higher tax brackets don’t unfairly benefit “the wealthy,” they benefit the economy by creating jobs at all income levels.  When a business owner receives a tax cut, he has the ability to hire more people, expand his businesses, and create a broader tax base.  I believe the class warfare tactic regarding tax cuts is a loser for the Democratic party, because most people, even if they’re not in that tax bracket today, hope to be there someday.  And when they get there, they don’t want most of their effort to go to pay someone else’s benefits.    

Q:  Why should I care what you think?

A:  My opinion isn’t any more valid than yours.  The great thing about our society is that we have choices, and if you don’t like what you see, move on.  But I DO appreciate your glowing admiration for my thoughts.

Q:  You seem to watch a lot of TV.  How do you have time for that with two little kids?

A:  It’s the magic of TIVO, bub.  Actually, the DVR integrated with my cable, but TIVO rolls off the tongue (and keyboard) more smoothly.  I TIVO everything I intend to watch, and some things I think I might want to watch, and chip away at it after the kids go to bed. 

Q:  What’s on your watchlist?

A:  24, Lost, The Shield, Battlestar Galactica, The Office, Desperate Housewives, Grey’s Anatomy, Boston Legal, House, Invasion, Nip/Tuck, Arrested Development, The Sopranos, Entourage, Rome.

Q:  What do you listen to?

A:  I’ll listen to most music except rap and some country.  My favorites are Rush, old school Metallica (pre-Black album), Queen, and Van Halen.  Most of the time I’m in the car I listen to talk radio.

Q:  You sound like a great guy.  How can I date you?

A:  The Amazing Jake is off the market.  I’ve been married to the Amazing Mrs. Jake for almost 12 years, and she’s the greatest thing that ever happened to me.  Together, we’ve worked full time while earning 3 degrees between us, been through two houses and six vehicles, lost parents and grandparents, been through downsizings (multiple!) and promotions, and learned that the most important accomplishment we’ll ever achieve is raising the greatest two girls the world has ever seen.  I love my wife and daughters more than anything else, so back off – I’m taken.

Q:  Um, OK then.  Well, how can I reach you?

A:  The Amazing Jake can be reached at:  amazingjake (at) att (dot) net.

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